27.2.07

Day 104 (week 22): School’s out

I now have less than five weeks to go until my first appearance in court. And that’s official. Got my first case booked into the diary today. Monday 2 April at Brent Magistrate’s Court. Plea in mitigation apparently. In other words, a very big “sorry”, with bells on. Very worrying both for me and also for the client…if he knew, which he won’t. Just make sure that you never get sent to court in April or May, a time when the court system turns into a playground for baby barristers. School’s out and they’re all running around, fighting each other, falling over, getting their legs grazed and generally misbehaving.

But be in no doubt that despite all appearances (the brand new wig and gown for a start), these are novices of the first order. For my own part, I have had less than a dozen outings at speaking in public and that includes the speech I was forced to make at my eighth birthday party. All I can say is that I’m just glad I’m not the one in trouble. The real irony is that for the first few months, over half the work we’ll be doing is criminal. Target practice with people’s lives and liberty until we learn to shoot straight and give up childish things in favour of the civil courts. Kind of seems the wrong way round somehow but there you go.

6 comments:

Wag said...

I sometimes work as an expert witness, building and civil engineering. Mostly civil,long meetings, conferences and a huge file . I was involved with a criminal case to do with a man being pushed into a glass door. The first time I met counsel for the defendant was in the scruffy defence waiting area of the court.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the blog; you must be (or have been) at the Bar to write this delicously dark tale. All ex-pupils have at least 1 or 2 decent stories to tell. Part of me wants you to ramp up the scandal - the other part would like you to go easier on a profession which in reality gives a bloody good service to its clients.

Caffeine Addicted Barista said...

Mmmm
If you think it looks bad from the playground level you ought to see it from the Bench...

Had the opportunity recently as part of work-shadowing - very enlightening (and so too were the wigs - needed sunglasses when the sun was in the right place...).

And jurors can spot babies a mile off... I recall something to do with extremely bad defence argument once when I was serving (made me go to the Bar myself it did!) - how we laughed at the poor luckless sap that drew that short straw of a client... I mean, there's advocating on behalf of a client and advocating on behalf of a client... The newbie trying his argument had obviously took much too much notice of his lay client...

Root said...

Apropos meeting Counsel at the door by Wag. It sadly betrays a lack of familiarity with counsel's function.

Anonymous said...

Your blog has recently been brought to my attention and while it is very entertaining it’s very unrealistic in parts. It’s completely fictitious isn’t it? It’s possible that in parts it’s based on some true events but a majority is just made up crap, isn’t it?

You’re clearly not a pupil as if you were as determined and desperate for tenancy as you appear from your entries you wouldn’t have created this risky web site which could potentially ruin your chances at getting a 3rd sixth let alone tenancy. Anyone with half a brain could easily identify you.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I don't care if it's fictitious or not. It's very funny and has a few quirky observations about the way the law works (the fatal accident post was brilliant).