Day 110 (week 23): Greed is good

An anonymous reader left a comment yesterday asking “at what cost” for a tenancy, presumably referring to the cost to our souls. Don’t let’s con ourselves here. Lawyers sell their souls the moment they start billing by the hour. Admittedly, they’re not cheap. But don’t get taken in by any high-minded justifications such as pursuing an honourable profession or seeking justice. They do it for the money. Cold hard stinking cash. Their time…is money. Literally. As faustian a pact as you’ll find and if they hadn’t got that, they’d have never survived a law degree when they could have been reading English literature, media studies (whatever that is) or anything other than dry, turgid irrelevant law reports. Artists, actors, sportsmen. Many might be more paid than lawyers. But I’m prepared to accept that most are not doing that for the money. Lawyers, never! Would they even get out of bed without the promise of it. Never. Never. Never.

But ah, you might say. What about those poor junior barristers at the criminal bar? Surely they don’t do it for the money? Of course they do. Maybe not the money now but it goes back to the arrogance thing. They all believe they’ll be the ones bringing in the serious wedge in years to come. It just takes longer to get there in some areas than others. It’s all greed. So, no more comments with any such high-minded nonsense. Instead, let’s try something novel in the legal profession and start being honest not only with ourselves but also with each other for once.

As for Chambers today, Teflon was looking rather tired. According to TopFirst, the pizza delivery company woke him up in the early hours of the last two mornings. Silly them. I hope he enjoyed his hawaiian on Monday and his margharita on Tuesday. Better is the fact that I sent him an email yesterday under a false identity pretending to be a member of the public dangling a big personal injury case in front of him. I sought his preliminary advice on the merits of my case before approaching a solicitor. All I needed was a few lines telling me if I had a case or not. If he thought I did, then obviously the case would be his down the line. Maybe it was because he was tired or maybe simply his stupidity coming out again but he fell for it hook line and sinker with the following reply:

“Dear Jane, Thank you very much for your email. Whilst strictly I am not meant to advise you directly without a solicitor, I have read what you have to say and can certainly tell you that you have a good case.”

Too right he’s not allowed to advise without a solicitor. But greed can be good and it can be bad and for Teflon today, it sunk him. I forwarded his email to the Bar Standards Board with the subject heading “Professional Conduct Complaint.”

Some might say, “Case closed.”


Anonymous said...

Stitched up good and proper!

Mark Potter said...

For what doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul?

If it was greed that motivates our hero, he should have sought some advice before settling for the Bar and pupillage in a mixed common law set. >

But who cares? He exhibits the magnificent cynicism that generally takes at least 10 years in practice to develop and is riding for a fall just like the Boss.

Around 15 March, his rival pupils should have formed some ideas as to the cause of their present woes. Will they be allowed to stab back?

Anonymous said...

it's turning into lord of the flies

Anonymous said...

Thank God you are not in my Chambers. What a real little swine you are!

Anonymous said...

Good on you mate....pot the little gettt

Anonymous said...

It's not all for money. I'm loaded already and I start pupillage next year. Case dismissed. Nice try.

Anonymous said...

Tell good sir/madam, do you have any friends in chambers ?