Day 116 (week 24): UpTights

Had lunch with the person who will take over from the Boss as my pupil master at the start of April. Well, pupil mistress to be exact. I shall call her UpTights. She’s in her late-forties with a civil and criminal practice. She’s never married and has no kids (having always put career first) and is Very High Maintenance. Considered calling her BoTucks due to the work she’s had done which gives her a very peculiar kind of stretched “Mother of Barbie” type look. But it is her attitude which defines her.

“The most important thing at the Bar is boundaries, BabyBarista.”
“Clearly defined boundaries between work and non-work.”
“Er, yes.”
“I will never ask you about your life outside of Chambers and you will reciprocate. Life here. Life outside. Separate. Is that clear?”
“Of course.”

Ouch. And she barks her words in high, clipped military tones which are a cross between Margaret Thatcher in her mad years and a Dalek screaming “Exterminate!”. UpTights is definitely her name. Looks like the easy life I’ve carved out with the Boss is about to be shattered.

“Unless you are in court, you will arrive into Chambers at 8.30am and leave at 6pm, during which your time belongs to me. Time outside those hours does not exist as far as I am concerned. Understand?”
I got it the first time thank you.
“And there’ll be no skiving in the library, just so you know although you will get thirty minutes between twelve thirty and one each day, during which time you will disappear from sight.”

It seems she also has what the Americans might call “personal space issues”.

“When you are in my room, you will not hover around my desk. Absolutely no hovering. Got it. No hovering.”

No hovering. Right. I think I got that too. Promises to be interesting. Particularly as somehow I have to get her onside before the tenancy decision in September. First thoughts revolve around the question as to why she is so defensive. Barriers built over years of working with lecherous dinosaurs such as HeadofChambers and OldSmoothie? Resentment that the rest of the world seems happy? Or just plain nastiness?

Whatever it is, there’s plenty to be getting on with.


pm said...

I've been enjoying this for a while now but it really is getting better each day. Thanks for the entertainment BabyB

Anonymous said...

i think i know uptights!

Lex said...

I'm going with d) - all of the above.

Anonymous said...

nice one. look forward to hearing more about uptights

Anonymous said...

Uptights gives me the horn, can I have her number

Charlie Meek said...

I know a judge like Uptights

Anonymous said...

Nice one BabyB - am off on holiday for a week now, but I look forward to catching up when I get back. This blog is great!!!

Mark Potter said...

I used to be in chambers with a version of UpTights. A couple of her pupils (male) swore the atmosphere in the room at times became highly sexually charged. I think BB is going to have challenges to the great work / outside work divide.

uptowngirl said...

I think there will alot more from uptights to come. This new character is great and I love the name...made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the laughs this blog has given me.

phatboy said...

She sounds awful! I'm surprised any solicitors bother to brief her if she acts like that with them!!

Tip, make friends with senior solicitors and get references from them for tenancy... dare I say it, you might even want to check if any friends from Bar School have joined the junior profession ;-)

Anonymous said...

uptights is inspired!

Anonymous said...

Jeezus I hope this really is all made up.
I'd have thrown her out the window if she spoke to me like that.

's gonna be good though.

Anonymous said...

Frightening yes - but I bet she's great in court - reminds me of someone I know in Manchester

James Wise said...

this is baby rumpole! brilliant!